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My boyfriend refuses to marry after 11 years of relationship

Shivendra Pratap Singh

Advocate (Lucknow)

Online advising since Oct. 2014

Family Law

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Question: After 11 years of relationship my boyfriend refuses to marry. My boyfriend and I have been in a love relationship for 11 years. I even fought for him with my parents for him. I’m with him in all his ups and downs. He made me believe about our marriage, kids and future plans. Now that I have waited for him for 11 years he is refusing to marry me as our parents  are against our marriage. Now I cannot  imagine my life without him and cannot marry anyone else.

I told him that I cannot marry anyone else, his reply was that he will marry according to his parents whoever they show. My family is also against me as I supported him all the time from 11 years. I cannot live without him because I am emotionally drained. I want to marry him. How to make him agree for marriage? Can I take any legal actions against him and agree for marriage with me as I have his messages and our photos with me?

Asked from: Telangana

You have been emotionally attached to him. But he is not as such. In these circumstances you cannot compel him to marry. He is, however, playing with your emotions but he did not commit any offence. There was no agreement at the beginning of the relationship that marriage would be the consideration for our relations. Hence, you cannot initiate legal action against your boyfriend that he refuses to marry.

You both are major and have the capability to understand the consequences of this kind of relationship. However, he is refusing to marry and saying that his parents will decide this matter but it does not constitute any offence. He is not doing wrong unless there is deception behind sexual relationship. 

Deception or false promise to marriage for sexual relationship is an offence. He has committed rape if he made false promise to marriage only for establishing sexual or bodily relations with you. Rape is an offence punishable under Section 376 of the Indian Penal code. 

For the offence of rape you have to prove that he had obtained your consent on the false promise of marriage. If you fail to prove that you did not know that his promise is false then no offence is made out. He can absolve himself from the offence of rape. 

The facts of your case suggest that there was no sexual relationship between you. Hence, your boyfriend did not commit rape. It is, however, not easy to wipe out all the memories but you cannot take legal action against him for refusing to marry. 

Don’t involve yourself in unnecessary litigation. Avoid filing false first information reports for any cognisable offence. Eventually you have to prove your case otherwise another legal liability will arise against you.

shivendra pratap singh advocate

Shivendra Pratap Singh

Advocate (Lucknow)

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